27 February 2009

By Jenny Skates; "on a quest for True Freedom and Community"

Last June, I met Randall J. Skates, who began teaching me all sorts of wonderful new things.  It was the beginning of a brand new life for me, and in fact we’re getting married next month!  One of my first “lessons” was about the power of the words we choose when speaking to ourselves, to others, and to the Universe. ..

Randall lent me a book on a topic about which I’d never heard: The Law of Attraction, by Michael J. Losier.  (Pages quoted in this article are from this book.)  Mr. Losier’s book is a terrific introduction to the Law of Attraction for 3 reasons: it’s written in a simple, easy-to-grasp style, it’s a quick read, and it contains lots of fun workbook-type exercises.  Mr. Losier explains early in his book that choosing precise words is important because the words we think and use have vibrational energy that can be positive or negative.  James Arthur Ray teaches the same philosophy, that you send positive or negative messages out to the Universe based on the specific words you use.

Here’s an example to get started: Don’t think about a yellow sports car!  Did you just picture a yellow sports car?  “Your unconscious mind automatically filters out the words don’t, not, and no.  When you use these words, you are actually internalizing in your mind the exact thing you are being told not to….The Law of Attraction responds the same way your mind does: it hears what you DON’T want.  When you hear yourself make a statement containing the words don’t, not, or no, you are actually giving attention and energy to what you DON’T want.” (p. 22-23)  Here’s a list of some common phrases you might hear or say on a regular basis (and what I hear now that I’m paying attention.)

1. Don’t hesitate to call me (I hear “hesitate before calling me”)
2. Don’t worry (I hear “worry”)
3. No problem (I hear “there’s a problem”)
4. Don’t forget (I hear “it’s ok to forget”)
5. No running! (I hear “running!” and so do kids in the hallway at school)
6. Don’t be late (I hear “it’s ok to be late”)
7. Don’t look now (doesn’t this phrase make you want to look immediately?)

OK, so now that I’ve been paying attention to my word choice, I choose positive phrases instead.  I want to convey a message, and I want to make sure it’s the message I truly mean.  I still goof up, and honestly, fairly regularly, but I usually catch myself and make an adjustment immediately.  Let’s go back and practice by rephrasing those statements, choosing words that convey the true desired message:

1. Please call me any time
2. Relax, it will be ok.
3. My pleasure
4. Please remember
5. Walking, please!
6. Please be on time
7. Keep looking at me

Remember, “each time you [think or] talk about what you DON’T want, in that moment you are giving it your attention and energy.  When you ask yourself what you DO want, the answer will have created a new sentence with new words.  When your words change, your vibration changes” and that’s good news! (p. 23)

    So, while we’re on the subject, let’s tackle a few more phrases you may want to eliminate from your vocabulary.  The first one is simple, and can be summed up by quoting a Jedi Master most of us know, Yoda: “Do, or do not.  There is no ‘try.’”  What I hear when someone says, “I’m trying to…” or “I’ll try to…” is that they are simply NOT doing or going to…  I recommend listening to yourself carefully for a while so you can begin to catch yourself when you say things like “I’m trying to open the peanut butter!”  You can turn the statement into “I’m opening the peanut butter,” or “Can you help me open the peanut butter?”  Rephrase “I’m trying to be a better listener” to “I’m learning to be a better listener.”  Do, or do not.  There is no “try.”

    Next, how about, “I can’t.”  Recently I heard someone say, “Whether you believe you can or you believe you cannot, you’re right!”  I recommend always telling yourself that you can, or at least being honest with yourself by saying “I won’t.”  Again, let’s look at some common phrases and how we might restructure them to say what we really mean.

I can’t do this! (I’m learning to be better at this, or I won’t do this)
I can’t stand so-and-so (I’d rather spend time with someone else)
I can’t take your disobedience (I won’t tolerate this behavior)
I can’t wait to see you (I’m so looking forward to seeing you!)

    Lastly, beware the “I am” statement.  This one has been the trickiest for me.  I find myself saying things like “I’m tired,” “I’m hungry,” and “I’m sorry” quite a bit.  The trick, here again, it to ask yourself, “What am I really saying?  What is it that I want to say?”  The Abundant Universe is like a genie in a bottle and will make your statements true.  So if you say you are tired, well then you are.  If you say you are hungry, well then you are.  The phrase “I’m sorry” is used so often, and so casually (and as kids, even falsely, as in “Tell Tommy you’re sorry!”) that it’s really lost the meaning that people want to convey.  What someone might hear when you say “I’m sorry” is that you’re a sorry individual.  If you look up “sorry” in the dictionary, you’ll see its synonym is “contemptible.”  In the grocery store the other night, I heard people saying they were sorry left and right, and for silly accidental things they had no reason to be sorry for.  Randall is so funny because he’ll respond right back to someone who says it, “You’re not sorry, you’re just shopping!”  My feeling is if it’s just an accident, there’s no need to be sorry or apologize.  You can say “excuse me” if you bump into someone accidentally, for instance.  Or, simply smile and let it go; it’s probably no big deal.  On the other hand, if you’ve truly done something you regret, I recommend taking the time to give your words meaning by saying “I apologize for…” instead of cheapening them with a pitiful “I’m sorry.”

In summary, the words we choose are powerful, and they have vibrational energy just like everything else in the Universe.  The words we say and think give attention and energy to people and things.  Think about what you’re really saying with the words you use and ask yourself what’s the message you really want to convey?  Do you want to be creating positive or negative energy in the Universe?  Do you choose to be powerful or weak?  Do you want people, and the Universe, to understand what you truly mean?  Choose your words wisely; it makes a difference!

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